


dead as soon as it's plucked

by AdorabloodthirstyKitty



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Original Character(s), Self-Destruction, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-05 09:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorabloodthirstyKitty/pseuds/AdorabloodthirstyKitty
Summary: We talked about how the lights from the buildings and cars seemed like reflections of the stars that shined out so pretty and bright, that night.Jenny - Flight of the Conchords





	1. Petals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GalaxyGhosty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGhosty/gifts).



> mindless self indulgence

It's a bad night.

His hands tremble, his chest feels too tight and too hollow all at once, and his mind is empty when evil thoughts aren't working their way into his brain like maggots. He needs a drink. He needs several drinks. He needs to not think, and not feel.

Jack pulls on his toughest clothes, his steel-toed boots and old leather jacket, his armor as he climbs out the window, texting Malcolm that he'll be home later and not to tell Mum and Dad. Malcolm gives the affirmative, telling him to stay safe and call if he needs it. Jack thanks him before heading out.

It's a long walk through the woods surrounding his house, but with his headphones on the walk is pleasant, the air chilly and the sky surprisingly clear, the rainclouds from earlier nothing but the occasional wisp obscuring the stars, bright and shining like diamonds on dark velvet.

He keeps his head down and the hood of his hoodie up over his shock of green hair, heading for the trains a few miles away. It's safer heading out of Athlone and toward bigger cities if he doesn't want to get caught. His hometown isn't small, but he's easily recognizable with his bright eyes and bright hair, the ripped jeans and leather jacket and piercings. No one would let him get away with getting shitfaced without the news getting to his family somehow, and he doesn't want a lecture about responsibility and all that shite. He wants the familiar warmth of alcohol in his belly and burning his throat, he wants a mind filled with cotton and loud music, the feeling of freedom. He wants out, of the cottage and his own head. He wants a goddamn drink.

He goes down to the tubes and buys a ticket to the next train to Dublin, head down as soon as he gets his ticket and heads to the terminal to wait, the rest of the place quiet and still. He keeps to himself, away from the couple of girls in heels and skirts, away from the lone businessman half-asleep on the bench. He focuses on his music, fingers tapping against his jeans in time to the drumbeat, keeping his breathing in check to calm his heart and his churning stomach as he waits.

"Have I seen you somewhere before?"

He jumps out of his skin at the sudden female voice to his right, the two women he'd noticed earlier now very close all of a sudden. They both seem to be about his age if not a little older, the girl addressing him putting her manicured hands up in the universal sign for no harm as her friend tries to suppress a smile. Jack swallows, praying his face isn't red as he moves a headphone away from his ear to hear better as he replies.

"Probably. I stick out like a big sore green thumb."

The woman addressing him smiles, her friend giggling daintily behind her hand.

"I'm Anna, that's my friend Ciara. Where are yeh headed?"

"Dublin."

"Us too! Apparently there's a new club opened there, we were gonna check it out. Care to join us?"

Jack takes only a second or two to decide before nodding his head with a small smile, allowing Anna to put her hand on his arm as she makes herself comfortable at his side, her friend Ciara coming round to stand to his left.

"It's supposed to be really nice, big place with live music sometimes and djs. I heard the first night they were cram packed, people spillin out the doors," Anna grins, Jack smiling in return but otherwise staying quiet.

"Yer not out meeting anyone or anything are yeh? We wouldn't want to keep you if yeh got somewhere to be," Ciara speaks up, her voice quieter and higher than Anna's to match her waifish features.

"Nah, just out for a drink. Needed to get out of the house."

"Same here! It's a good night for a few drinks," Anna replies with a wide smile, Jack smiling and nodding politely. He hadn't expected to do much talking before downing his weight in alcohol, his anxiety still sitting in his chest like a weight, pulling the muscle around his heart taut. The girls start up a conversation about the club, the people they may or may not bump into there, and Jack goes back to his music, tapping his foot in time with the beat as they wait.

Soon the train pulls into the terminal, and the three of them step on in their little group, Anna letting go of Jack's arm to sit beside Ciara, the both of them sitting behind him as he sits at a seat against the wall of the train, facing inward. The sleepy businessman sits near the back, setting his briefcase beside him as he looks out the window.

The girls leave Jack to his music, but keep him in the conversation, asking him questions occasionally, keeping him occupied. He's secretly thankful for it, his anxiety still churning his stomach and holding his heart captive, but it's quieter with him focusing on something else, focusing on the conversation.

The ride is quiet, Jack keeping his music somewhat low so he can reply when the girls bring him back into the conversation. They all step out at the Dublin station, Jack's mood improved with Anna and Ciara's excitement as they near the club.

The place looks to be two stories, with loud music pouring from the windows and out onto the street the closer they get. They stop at the end of the line, Anna and Ciara chatting excitedly as they wait.

"I really hope we'll be able to get in. A couple friends of ours came here last week and got turned down with how full it was," Ciara murmurs to Jack, shivering in her short dress as she rubs at her arms.

"Want my jacket?" Jack asks, Ciara starting to protest as Jack pulls off his leather jacket and starts unzipping his hoodie.

"Really Ciara, it's no trouble. I'm wearing two anyway," he smiles, draping the black hoodie over her slim shoulders. She smiles, thanking him quietly as he shrugs his leather jacket back on with a smile.

The line doesn't seem to move at all, but Jack stays occupied with pleasant conversation with Anna and Ciara and his music. His stomach isn't feeling queasy for the first time in days, which is a blessing, and he feels happier than he has in a while, the cool night air and pleasant conversation leaving him smiling.

He's about to suggest taking the girls out to grab some food, the line not having budged for a good twenty minutes when an old black car pulls up along the curb, the driver hurrying out to open the back door.

Jack feels the sentence die on his lips as he turns to watch the person step out, all thought wiped from his mind as he watches the single most gorgeous man he's ever seen step out of the car, his movements fluid and slick as oil. He straightens his blood-red tie and the lapels of his pristine grey suit as he steps onto the sidewalk, looking out over the line of people still waiting with little interest. And then his ruby, charcoal-lined eyes land on Jack.

Jack can feel his heart speed up as the man locks eyes with Jack, eyes redder and more entrancing than any he's ever seen leaving him silent and breathless.

"Sir?"

The man turns his head toward the bouncer, though his eyes stay trained on Jack a moment longer than necessary.

"Let him and his friends in," the man in the suit hums, his voice sending a shiver down Jack's spine as he waves a hand in their direction. The bouncer looks toward the end of the line, toward Jack, Anna, and Ciara, and nods, leaving his post by the door. He stops just beside them on the other side of the velvet ropes, unclasping the one beside them and stepping aside to let them pass.

Jack can feel his throat closing the closer he gets to the man in the suit, bright eyes trained on Jack as he stands beside the door, hands clasped primly behind his back.

The bouncer comes around them to take his place beside the doors, opening one for them with a small flourish.

Jack can't help but look back to the man beside them, crimson eyes meeting Jack's easily. He tilts his head toward the door and Jack nods, thanking him quietly as they all head inside. Jack can feel the man in the suit behind him, his presence unmistakable as they head into a dark, huge club. Lights in blue and purple spin and sway over countless club-goers, the large bar to the right packed with people. Ciara steps toward him, talking as quietly into his ear as she can over the loud music.

"We're headin to the bar, wanna come with us?"

Jack turns toward her, looking over his shoulder as subtly as he can to look back at the man in the suit.

He stands back, hands clasped in front of him as he listens while another bouncer speaks in his ear. He looks out over the club, silent as his dark eyes slide over club-goers before flitting to Jack, holding eye contact until Jack finally looks away.

"Yeah, I could use a drink."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this one big-ish fic but I'm cutting it in two so I can finally post SOME of it until I finish it off! I hate having fics sitting and gathering dust, I'm pretty impatient about posting my fics. but here you go beebee!! I hope you like it!!


	2. Bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so _technically_ there's no underage drinking, because the drinking age in Ireland is 18 and Jack is probably about 19 in this, but I just wanted to put that tag in to be safe! hope you guys like it and thank you for being so sweet!

Jack is so fucking glad he came out tonight.

He's pleasantly buzzed, and has been attached at the hip to his new friends. Anna and Ciara laugh and joke and dance with him, and make him completely forget his earlier bad mood, the slump he's been in for the past few days. Anna pulls him by the hand to dance out on the crowded dance floor, Ciara sits and talks with him endlessly between sips of a bright, fruity drink held daintily in her hand. He feels genuinely at ease with them, and he's so glad he could meet such amazing girls.

Eventually they bring their drinks up to the second floor, at a small table lit by a single candle. They sit next to the glass railing overlooking the first floor, the lights and sound of the dance floor below them somewhat muted as they all drink and talk.

Jack sits back as the girls giggle and gossip over cute people on the dance floor, and Jack looks out over the mass of dancing club-goers, hoping to spot a familiar raven-haired stranger with bright, enchanting eyes. He's only pulled from his quiet search when he hears his name, turning with a 'hm?' as the girls laugh amongst themselves.

"On the lookout for yer man?"

"What are yeh talkin about?" he asks, trying to appear casual. His higher pitch and blush don't make that possible, though, even if the blush isn't as visible in the low light. The girls grin, Ciara shaking with silent laughter as Anna leans closer over the table.

"That gorgeous guy in the black car. Yeh seemed pretty fuckin quiet around him."

"So?"

Anna gives him a smug look, eyebrow raised, and it reminds him of Felix.

"Shuddup, leave me alone," he grumbles, slumping back in his seat on the curved couch, crossing his arms as the girls laugh.

Anna looks toward the stairs, and Jack is too busy pulling his jacket off and setting it beside him to see the subtle bump she gives Ciara with her shoulder, or the way she nods toward someone coming up to the floor they're on. He sees them both stand out of the corner of his eye, turning to find them going around to the opening between the two couches on either side of the table.

"Alright love, we gotta powder our noses and grab a couple drinks. We'll be back in a few!"

"Yeh want me to go with yeh?"

"I think yeh might wanna stick here, sweets," Anna grins, walking ahead as Ciara leans down and smiles, whispering 'good luck!' before following her friend toward the stairs. Jack frowns, confused as he turns toward them, about to call her back and ask what she could mean when he freezes, a familiar silhouette slinking toward him, easily recognizable even in the dim of the space around them.

The stranger comes around, unbuttons his suit jacket and sits beside him, leaving a few inches of space between them as he turns to him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to introduce myself before. I'm Dark."

"Jack, nice t'meet yeh," he greets him, shaking his hand and thanking every deity that may be that his previous drinks have settled him somewhat without leaving him wasted. "Who are yeh, if yeh don't mind me askin. And why let us in?"

He tilts his head a bit toward him, something close to a smile ghosting across his lips.

"I own the place, my friend and I. And as to why I let you in? You're cute. I like you," he replies seamlessly, with a little shrug of his shoulders and a tilt of his head. The words don't make any sense, and it takes a few seconds for the words to process in his mind before he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

"What."

The stranger, Dark, looks amused, one dark eyebrow rising as he leans back, making himself comfortable on the couch beside Jack.

" 'What' what?"

"Don't be cute with me you shit."

He actually smiles at that, his chuckle making Jack's hair rise at the nape of his neck, very aware of the proximity of their knees, the way Dark's arms come up to rest on the back of the couch, his hand dangerously close to his shoulder.

"I think you're attractive, and I wanted the chance to talk to you, get to know you better."

Jack blinks, trying to wrap his head around the idea of someone this pretty actually, legitimately being interested in him.

"I don't believe yeh but I don't know why you'd want to lie to me about it. Or what yeh could gain from lying."

"Who said I was lying?"

"My brain, I guess. Do yeh realize how fucking gorgeous you are?"

"I suppose I do, but I wouldn't be opposed to hearing more from you about it," he smirks, and Jack has to stop to breathe, because that smile is warming his belly and his face more than the alcohol has all night. Dark's smile widens just a bit, raising an eyebrow as if in challenge, and Jack can't take it anymore. He grabs his glass and downs the last of his whiskey with a wince, looking back to his companion and opening his mouth before his common sense and anxiety can stop him.

"Would yeh like to dance?"

Dark seems pleasantly surprised, smiling as he shifts and stands, buttoning his suit jacket before putting his hand out, which Jack accepts a bit shyly. Dark crooks his elbow for Jack to take, and Jack does, giving his leather jacket a fleeting look over his shoulder as they head back down to the first floor.

"So Jack, what brings you to my establishment? I'd have remembered seeing someone as pretty as you here before."

"Drinks, mostly. Needed t'get out, get away."

"Any specific reason?"

"A few, but I dunno. Wouldn't wanna bore yeh with all that."

"I'm sure I wouldn't be bored at all."

"Mm. Maybe next time. Sob stories are more a second date topic."

"Does that make this a first date?"

Jack feels his heart speed up, body almost shutting down as embarrassment floods his system, coloring his cheeks when he looks up to meet Dark's smoldering eyes and bright smile head-on.

"I mean, if yeh want it to be?"

"I'd like nothing more," he hums, turning and taking Jack's hand, moving it to his shoulder as he takes his other hand, soon maneuvering them into a slow dance. Jack doesn't even care how out of place they must look, a single couple slow dancing near the middle of a club. Instead he shuffles his feet with Dark's, keeping in step and focusing on not stepping on his shiny black shoes.

"So Jack, what would you like to do after this?"

"I dunno. I'll probably have to head home before it gets too late."

"Would you like something to eat before you head home?"

"Is that yer way of askin me to dinner?"

"Yes," he grins down at him, making butterflies erupt in his belly.

"Then yes," Jack grins back, Dark squeezing the hand he holds in his own, smiling as they continue dancing. "There's this little diner a couple blocks down, we can grab something there. It's great."

"As long as I'm with you, I'm sure it will be."

"Are yeh always this fuckin smooth?"

"I try," he shrugs, still smiling as he pulls back, twirling Jack with a grin before drawing him back, pulling him closer as they sway together, almost chest to chest.

"Would you like me to drive you back home after? It won't be a burden, and I'd much rather spend more time with you then not."

"If yeh'd like. My house is in a pretty remote part of Athlone though, out in the woods."

"It's no trouble. As long as I get more time with you, it's worth it."

"You must be very popular with how fucking cute yeh are."

"I could say the same thing about you."

Jack makes an embarrassed noise in his throat, Dark chuckling, his smile bright and beautiful under the swirling, colored lights above them.

"Yer incredibly pretty, it's ridiculous how good lookin yeh are."

"Again, I could say the same about you. Also, your accent is adorable. And you have lovely eyes."

"I must be drunker than I thought for flirting like this."

"I'd say you're doing very well, considering we're on a date. I'm looking forward to the next one, truthfully."

"Me too."

Jack smiles up at him, and Dark smiles right back. Jack wonders what they must look like, staring into each other's eyes and smiling dopily.

"I really wanna kiss yeh, but I'm nervous," Jack murmurs, feeling Dark's arm at his back pulling him closer.

"You don't have to be, if that helps," Dark hums, eyes sliding down to his lips, the air around them buzzing.

"Can I?" he asks, licking his lips nervously.

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

Jack swallows past his nerves, meeting Dark's eyes before shutting his own and leaning close, his heart soaring when he feels Dark hold him close and kiss him sweetly.

Jack sighs into the kiss, hand trailing up to run through his hair, squeezing Dark's hand in his own. His chest feels about to burst with how happy he is, smiling against Dark's lips as he pulls away.

The music changes, the tempo speeding up and booming around them. Jack pulls his hand from Dark's shoulder, gripping the hand still in his and leading him off the dance floor and back to the table upstairs. He feels butterflies and his heart flutter when Dark shifts his hand to interlock their fingers, his hand warm in his as Jack leads him to the table to grab his jacket, which thankfully had remained untouched in his absence.

He feels something when he pulls his hand away, reluctant to let go of Dark's hand to pull on his jacket and Dark equally reluctant, lingering as long as he can. Jack shrugs it on, turning back to smile before a thought hits him, eyes wide.

"I forgot about my friends. I gotta go check on em, tell em I'm goin and get my hoodie. Can yeh wait while I do that?"

"Of course. Want to look downstairs?"

"Yeah, thanks," Jack smiles, heading back to the stairs, looking out for Anna's bouncing curls, Ciara in her sparkling dress and his plain black hoodie. He soon spots them on the left side of the bar, telling Dark to wait as he moves toward them through the groups packed together like sardines, finally squeezing past the last few people and tapping Ciara on the shoulder. They both turn back to him, smiling brightly.

"Hey Jack! How'd it go?"

"Good. Dark actually wanted to take me to a diner a few streets away, I wanted to grab my jacket."

"Of course! Have fun, Jackie," Ciara grins, shrugging off his hoodie and handing it over, Anna smirking widely as Jack mumbles out a thanks. He's just about to head away when Anna calls him back, turning to find her handing him a napkin. He takes it, finding a phone number in purple ink.

"My phone number, in case yeh wanna go out with us again. Or if yeh just wanna chat." She smiles, sweet and kind, and Jack feels his heart warm at the sincerity of it. "Don't be a stranger."

"Of course. Thank yeh both for tonight, I'm so glad to have met yeh both," he smiles, stepping forward to hug them both.

They say their goodbyes and Jack turns away for the last time, snaking through the crowds until he finds Dark again with a smile. He holds out his hand, and Jack feels his cheeks heat up as he grins, taking his hand as they walk out the doors into the night, get in the car, and drive.


	3. Bouquet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short and sweet epilogue. thank you all for being so good to me, for reading my stuff and bringing me happiness even on bad days. you guys don't know how much you mean to me, I love you guys. also, Dream by The Cranberries was playing through my head as I wrote this, so if you want something to listen to while reading, I'd highly suggest it

He wakes slowly, eyelashes fluttering in warm morning light. The first thing he sees is a mess of black hair, tan skin and rumpled sheets, and his heart still warms, still softens into putty in the confines of his chest at the sight.

It's been a couple months since his first date with Dark, and they've been some of the best few weeks of his life.

He studies the shifting of muscles as Dark shifts, turning from his back to roll over, eyes still shut as he pulls Jack close with a smile to his hair and a kiss to his brow.

"Morning, beautiful."

"Morning, gorgeous. Wanna help me make some waffles?"

"Are there chocolate chips?"

"Of course there is. I bought the biggest I could find, just for you."

"I love you."

Jack feels his heart jump in his chest at the easy way the words fall from Dark's lips, still pressed to his hair as he cuddles him like a treasured stuffed animal. It's still new, the words, but Jack can't help but hope it feels this way every time they say it, that those three words are shared between them for decades to come.

He snuggles close, tilting his head up enough to leave soft kisses along his jaw, the column of his throat.

"I love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> I started this on the 26th? while I was in this weird continuous anxiety thing that started the night before and was pretty much continuous for a week. also, the title is based on something my mum said when we were talking about flowers, but looking back on it used here it makes me think of loss of virginity or innocence kind of?? sorry if that sounds like some pretentious snooty shit, just an idle thought while I'm still in a kinda weird headspace. it was A Week y'all, for me and gg both. I'm sorry this took so long beebee, it's not as cute or long as I'd hoped but I hope it puts a smile on your face until I can write a better thing for you ♡♡♡


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